Notices by wet paper bag (jer) (jzs42069@knzk.me)

@matt matt.. thank you for recognizing this

calling my parents op and tc until they lock the doors

@Katie my phone shook and i looked like an idiot on the bus I’m driving. so thanks

@norikawa nah! it’s all good! it’s a separate, completely different thing without even any aim at self improvement!

@elchapo a stupid one that sucks and harms me! lol. the pillow was super good though. kinda worth it tbh

perpetually uncreased leather shoes

ed sheeran is a slime fetishist. hes too ashamed to admit it. he breaks all the strings on his guitar when he’s horny and fills up the sound hole with slime and fucks it. ed just keeps buying new guitars.

@ldopa holy fucking shit, jesus christ I’m sorry to hear that. doing all of that this late at night?

Wow, yea, im so impressed ugthock. your dick is really big and wide and you know how to seduce my wife. at least i have a fucking job building dog bone houses. the fuck do you do for a living. asshole

sean connery by accident

putting vitamin d lights in the fixtures to boost office morale but everyone gets sunburned instead

my dog: CAN YOU TWIST THAT SCABBED AREA, IT REALLY FUCKS ME UP

@leonthotsky fuck yea

arnold schwarzenegger had a four pack instead of six because he never smacked his gut with his boner