@switchingsocial hey, have you checked out #rustodon? it's trying to fulfill some of the same usecases as mastodon and pleroma, but is geared towards small instances (ie, you can run it on a raspberry pi) and small clients (the default webclient doesn't even need JS!)
we're also looking deeply into correctness issues around federation and privacy, and how we can give users more fine-grained control over what they see without a massively complicated UI.
https://github.com/rustodon/rustodon
full disclosure: i am the lead developer (áµ”.áµ”;)