@teddiesage When you make an identity such a part of your being as some people do in these groups (be it gay, lesbian, trans, etc), more often than not it becomes galvanized and radical, and that leads to all sorts of problems.  

Here is a good article (but long) article on this sort of thing: http://slatestarcodex.com/2014/09/30/i-can-tolerate-anything-except-the-outgroup/