Yes, It’s Your Parents’ Fault - NYTimes.com - https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/01/07/opinion/sunday/yes-its-your-parents-fault.html

[…] people who have insecure attachment models tend to be drawn to those who fit their expectations, even if they are treated badly. They may subconsciously act in ways that elicit insensitive, unreliable or abusive behavior, whatever is most familiar. Or they may flee secure attachments because they feel unfamiliar. […]