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1. mynamebaka 👌 (xj9@sunshinegardens.org)'s status on Wednesday, 27-Dec-2017 05:30:08 UTC mynamebaka 👌

   • Mike Cole

   @mike

   > repressing

   hiding the pain doesn't make it go away like this last year and a half has had some of the most painful experiences of my life, and it sucks, but at least i'm actually living now. I EXIST which i never did before. its a lot to deal with and pretty much always overwhelming, but i couldn't deal with being a ghost anymore. i had to walk through the fire and step out of the closet and into the light, which hurt my eyes. i'm not strong and its still reallt bright and loud out

   • mynamebaka 👌 (xj9@sunshinegardens.org)'s status on Wednesday, 27-Dec-2017 05:32:51 UTC mynamebaka 👌

     in reply to

     • Mike Cole

     @mike i don't want to stop tho there's these brief moments of joy and connecting with my everyday experiences that i never had before and, slowly, learning to feel like maybe being alive is a good thing i still hate it a lot of the time, but as i work though my transition and all of the pain that it involves i feel more and more real and connected to my life and my experiences. i have ok days and and really shitty days, but the trend is slowly upwards.