Conversation

Me: [Gets tattoo of accurately sized ruler on forearm]

Everyone: "Hur hur! How many dicks you measuring with that huh? Huh??"

Later, Everyone: "I dropped my tape measure, do you have one? Or a yardstick or something?"

Me: "GOLLY GEE IF ONLY THERE WAS A WAY TO ALWAYS HAVE A MEASUREMENT TOOL ON YOUR PERSON TISK TISK WELL GOOD LUCK WITH THAT FELLAS!"

Me: [Exit stage left]