I actually abused of my mind for many years which made me to lost my natural foundation, in result my mind works like if I drunk alcohol but I managed to maintain my balance learning about my connection to earth. When you are missing something important you learn to value it, I miss the worldly life but maybe for that reason I'm learning to appreciate the little details in life. Yet, what is normal for me it's illogical for most people, like why I will commit suicide in the future, this have a deep sense and meaning for me.