🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱
@thj Im not sure very many people in the world limit themselves to "just the genitalia", in the rare cases that they do its just a better more pleasurable form of masterbation more or less.
For most genitalia is just one small prerequisite among a much larger set of attractions.
🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱
@thj Love is enriching spirtually for sure. But I wouldnt describe that as being "good at sex" that would be described as "being good at making love".
Sex without love is a fine and fun thing, it is just a very different thing (and less enriching in many ways) than what you describe.
Nothing wrong with either form they are simply different things. Many times i find love given to the wrong person is more harmful than anything. As such it may be detrimental as well in some cases
🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱
@thj Well yea unhappy people arent as good at casual sex as happy people.. But happy people having casual sex can be quite nice too.
🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱
@thj Its certainly not for everyone, and thats fine. But just as a hug to a casual stranger can be a nice and enjoyable act, despite a hug from someone you love deeply being better, sex is no different. Casual sex is nice, and making love being nicer is not a distraction from that.
Particularly when you consider love carries with it far greater emotional risks that many will abuse.
🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱
@thj I think it just comes down to your nature asd a person. Those are your expiernces and while valid for you it wont apply for many
🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱
@thj I;ve been everyone on the spectrum, casual sex to love, always mutual and always open about intent.
When i was younger I always felt sex was for love, in fact I would have said almost word for word the things youve said.
Now that I'm older I find that truly "making love" while special should be reserved for very spevcial people who are very rare, most will abuse love. So it is far more rewarding to give casual sex to most and reserve making love for the rare times that someone deserving comes alone, which for me is once a decade on average it seems.
🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱
@thj Sadly the quality of the vast majority of the human race is quite lacking by my own standards.. So yea, someone who earns and deserves the trust of my emotional trust is rather rare and takes a lot to earn that anymore.
I used to give it more freely but learned that only leads to abuse and pain, so I now only give it to those who deserve it.
🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱
@thj I also find that if you give people you're whole heart and love before they had to earn it in anyway, just as some requirement for a relationship with someone you just met a few weeks or months ago, you set yourself up for illusion. Its an easy way to fool yourself and them into feeling and seeing things that arent true.
If anything this diminishes the quality of the love rather than enhancing it.
While I may "make love" more rarely now and everything else is casual sex, when I do "make love" it is far more intense and meaningful then it ever was as a kid where I loved a new woman every few months when one would come around.
🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱
@thj Yea I think part of the problem there is how we define love, rather than love itself.
We see love as "I will never leave you" or even "I will always put you on a pedastol". Which we do that because we want the person to feel safe and secure, because we care about them. But in the end it isnt healthy IMO in that form (at least not for me).
For me I realize taht love is just a very loaded term all around and not a very useful word because it can mean so many different things. For me the real meaning of love is simply "I will always want to see you happy", and in that sense I love a great many people, including the people I have casual sex with, and even the people I know i will never see again.
happiness requires honesty to thrive. That means knowing that when people are being destructive to your own happiness, that perhaps you need to distance yourself from them. This isnt out of lack of love but rather you dont want your own happiness to be destroyed and ultimately by extention hurt them in the process, or hurt your own ability to be good for other people in your life who are doing the hard work it takes to have mutual love to some degree.
Love, if it is to reach its potential, isnt something you give fully to everyone you get close with or have sex with. Love, or at least the things we think of when we think of love, is something to be worked at, by both parties, something to be earned and renewed. Yes "love" in the typical sense may be conditional but compassion is not, and to me that is the true love even if we dont call it as such.
🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱
@thj Depends, which definition of love are we using here. As I said there are so many different definitions for love that it isnt a very accurate term in any real sense. Its just something we say without thinking too hard on what i means. It just means "I have the feels" for most people :)
But if you can be specific about what definition of love you are using in that question then I can attempt to give my answer/opinion.
🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱
@thj Fair, perhaps my points are less relevant in your language.. but then that makes your original question even weirder.
Are you suggesting jesus wanted to have sex and "make love" to everyone? Since I presume your question was not love in any sexual way you must have been using love in a way that it is not used in your own language, or in some other way.
So the question remains, what definition of love would you like me to use in order to answer your question?
🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱
@thj What langauge is this by the way? Feels nordic...
🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱
@thj I live in the netherlands. So i figured it was something like that. HAd a little distant flavor of dutch with just enough to make me think it was from the region. Glad to see i was spot on.
Icelandic was interesting to me. I felt like i went back 1000 years
🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱
@thj As a general rule when I write poetry (or read it) I try to avoid the word love, its not descriptive enough... Though to be fair I violate that rule more often than I should.
🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱
@thj then im just stuck asking "what does it mean to be dear" I mean I play with dogs and i find them quite dear :)
🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱
@thj You may be a bit biased, but im not inclined to disagree with you either.
I tend to find any language can be very descriptive and poetic if you have a large enough vocabulary. I find i often need to call on uncommon english words to represent many ideas
🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱
@thj Nothing wrong with the abiguity, until you start to communicate questions and ideas to other people accurately.
You asked me about jesus and if i feel he loved people.. Well if we use the abiguity intentionally, then yes, but thats mostly because its such a catchall that id say yes to most similar questions
🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱
@thj I certainly can see the appeal of nordic language. It is why i love the legends so much I agree.
🎓 Dr. Freemo :jpf: 🇳🇱
@thj Its a sliding scale, you can convey ideas less or more accurately, and your bandwidth is limited. But im not sure that is a reason to dismiss linguistic accuracy.
If I say to someone "take three steps forward" .. if they take three steps forward then I know ive accurately enough conveyed the idea. If instead they jump up and down 3 times I know I have not.
Accuracy is measurable, real, and has consequences. Sometimes you want that accuracy, sometimes (poetics) you may not.
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