sexybiggetje
Dear #fedi. How does one actually find one's purpose in life?
I have been searching for what makes me happy in general for years. I have baggage, and at some point I accepted that I would never be happy. I'm now back to what, how, and why.
Serious answers only please.
tomasino
@sexybiggetje I wrote you something a bit more involved than a toot-reply over on gopher:
stampirl
@sexybiggetje do you have to have purpose in life? Can you just be? Exist?
Bernie
@hoppaz @sexybiggetje Jumping into the discussion because I've often wondered whether I'm leading a good life, what I could have done better, and what I should be doing with the time I've got left.
Lars
@sexybiggetje
Feeling satisfied is not depending on usefullness. If you need a sense then you have to define one for your reality. Gratitude, awareness, living in the here and now can take you further.
sexybiggetje
@hoppaz
No, it's really because of myself. I learned to not let your environment impact you. It's mainly myself who's blocking me
Lars
@sexybiggetje
You feel because you think or depending on your environment awaits from you (parents,friends,society) ?
sexybiggetje
@stampirl that's a great question, seeing as I'm asking how to accomplish finding it, the evident answer would be yes.
The question is rooted in feeling useful, feeling better in that sense. Being the best you can be. Contributing usefulness to the world. And in the end, feeling satisfied with life. Which at the moment I'm not really feeling.
To summarize; existing/being isn't what makes me feel enough. Quite the opposite.
Bernie
@hoppaz @sexybiggetje Every intelligent being ought to spend some time wondering about the purpose of their life... right?
Some of us can find comfort in a religious answer or escape into nihilism...
Our anxiety around deep existential questions can lead to humorous, cynical and depressing answers:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7HmltUWXgs
Bernie
@hoppaz @sexybiggetje And we all know the answer: 42.
Bernie
@hoppaz @sexybiggetje Back on topic: if you find yourself thinking about the purpose of your life every now and then, that's perfectly human. If you think about it constantly and obsessively, then you might want to look for beyond what you can find here on Mastodon.
While there's no universal answer that works for everyone, I use these moments of introspection to help decide what to do next. When it feels like we've reached a dead-end in life, it might be time for a bigger turn. But where to?
Bernie
@sexybiggetje @tomasino @hoppaz Nice. I agree that happiness and purpose are often misaligned.
And then humans have two major types of pleasures: hedonistic and intellectual. The reward pathways in our animal brains are strongly stimulated when we satisfy our basic instincts.
But often it's the creative and social accomplishments that give us a long-lasting sense of purpose: building something, creating art, solving problems, contributing to society...
Probably we need both to be truly happy.
sexybiggetje
@codewiz
Your last sentence roughly summarizes my question. How to decide where to.
It's not controlling my life yet, and I want to discover what works for me. The reply @tomasino wrote contains a very good takeaway. Separate happiness and purpose. Find purpose by doing. And do things you've already discarded or are afraid to do.
@hoppaz
Maryam
@codewiz @sexybiggetje
This toot was bitter sweet. It is sweet to know I'm not alone constantly dealing with the life question. I read it multiple times.
I swing between self sacrifice to make my friends and family happy (put their needs first) and focusing on myself. Neither makes me happy as the latter gives me guilt and the former, lost. Though none is the purpose of life. I think I've become more ok with not having life purpose. But happiness is still an unknown.
Bernie
@sexybiggetje @Maryam Let's look at this from this angle: for 2 millions years, humans simply didn't have the luxury to worry about the meaning of happiness. The live span of our ancestors was simply too simply short to hit a middle-age crisis. They'd routinely experience hunger, cold, diseases and ruthlessly violent interactions between humans in the absence of social order.
sexybiggetje
@Maryam
I can understand this. Feeling like running on autopilot for half of the things is something I can also relate to.
@codewiz
Bernie
@sexybiggetje @Maryam Our modern lives are so cushy that we don't see how lucky we are for being born in this tiny tiny slice of the entire human history 🙂
Bernie
@sexybiggetje @Maryam And this thought reminded me of the famous words of Lorenzo il Magnifico:
Quant'è bella giovinezza,
che si fugge tuttavia!
Chi vuol esser lieto, sia:
di doman non v'è certezza
How beautiful is youth,
though quickly it does flee!
Be happy if you want to:
for tomorrow is not certain.
(and for the first time I notice how each line alternates between happy and sad moods)
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