Notices by ♡ rye ♡ (rye@niu.moe), page 2

#introduction hi new users, just so you know, it's common practice here to include your credit card info and/or social security number in your bio. think of it as mastodon etiquette :-) wouldn't want your account to be terminated for not following the rules!

people giving their pets human names is so weird they're all "oh alexander chewed up the couch again" and you're thinkin "wow your son is fucked up" but then they're like "haha but that's just owning dogs i guess!" and you're relieved they don't have rabid children but alarmed at their pet naming taste

@hakui @dtluna Sometimes, you eat more than you should. And when it's spicy besides, mama Mia do you need Alka Seltzer

@shpuld water is also mostly water

you think thongs are sexy? well they're NOT. you're paying to have a wedgie you idiot

@hakui @shpuld haha lms if you love jesus 🙏🙏🙏 repost in 5 minutes or your house will explode tonight

https://niu.moe/media/SukKJQt-wlvaVWbBVmI

tenshi eating a tide pod im sorry i couldn't resist saying it

spiderman 2 but with no spiders. it's just man 2

actually the most satisfying thing is seeing friends pick up phrases you use a lot. im contagious both online and irl. dreams really do come try

https://niu.moe/media/EWFxMQqlj_lPsSYeej8

if you could bring anything with u to survive on a deserted island why wouldn't you just bring a bridge so u can walk back home lol duh

holy shit i just found the best picture ever fasdjkfjjfghfs

https://niu.moe/media/_Ymx0X9ZDhOE0TbtYd0

oppa stay hydrated style

@phildobangnz and water, it's important to stay hydrated

how to deal with people like adults:
❌ talk to them, sort out the issue
❌ explain why their behavior bothers you
✔️ block their entire instance without so much as a warning and tell everyone they're all bad people

donald trump deactivated his twitter bc he's moving to mastodon

best winter accessory:
-scarf
-
-
-an even longer scarf, this time with Pom poms

if there were two tenshis on the moon and one of them killed the other with a corn dog would that be fucked up or what

arrested. arrested. none of you are free of crime