*Me, wearing a bulletproof vest, taking round after round to the torso but none make it through.*
Wow, I haven't gotten a single mortal chest wound in a while! I guess I don't need this now!
*I remove the vest and am immediately riddled with bullets, which never stopped being fired at any point during this situation*
(THIS POST HAS BEEN AN ALLEGORY FOR THE U.S. COVID RESPONSE, THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND ATTENTION)