Installing GotoSocial (https://docs.gotosocial.org/en/latest/) was an astonishly easy experience. Once again: single Go binary.
Change a few settings, Let's Encrypt certs are automatically obtained, and I login using the Web interface at https://pinafore.social. I can see @jpmens here, and he can see my jp11 test user, but the final "handshake" doesn't work.
iOS' Toot app can login, and I can toot, read, etc.
Long story short: this is very promising, particularly for a single user or small family.