Notices by Shiver Pee Timbers (deaduncledave@mastodon.social), page 6

Another five feet on this garden row I think. Gonna pot the okra here.

A: Also, I had two overlapping dreams this week and my brain made mashup of a sex dream and mad scientist.

A: The sex toys were entirely incomprehensible and perhaps even incompatible with human physiology in an unbridgeable way.

A: I thought of you when I woke up

Me: That's the sweetest thing I've heard in like months.

1. Awaken.

2. Feed cats.

3. Make coffee, hashbrowns, eggs. Add extra ketchup, safe in the knowledge that you're alone in a judgement-free space.

4. Eat breakfast. Reach for allergy pills. Notice blob of ketchup on shirt.

5. Suck ketchup from shirt. Ketchup is now on writst.

6. Attempt to lick ketchup off wrist.

7. GAILY FESTOON OFFICE DESK AND FLOOR WITH ALLERGY PILLS.

8. Spend next several minutes fending off cats and cleaning up claritin.

@KitRedgrave And here I was just thinking "I should post about my love of the fediverse, no wait I should talk about my weirdass job, no strike that lemme talk about that spell that got me through English class last semester, no wait-"

I must not tweet.
Twitter is the mind-killer.
Twitter is the little-death that brings total obliteration...

--EmpressCallipygos@Metafilter

Stupendous idea gang. While H is out of town for Beltane, I'm gonna stay up and clean everything instead of going to bed? Whadya think?

GARDEN!

@roli_skates Woo garden! I'm digging up and sieving each row in my back yard to control the damn bermuda grass and now life is one giant ball of pain.

@Siphonay @CobaltVelvet Potting adhesive. Pretty normal. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potting_(electronics)

Now if you see goo at the tops of your capacitors you're probably in trouble: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capacitor_plague

@marshmellow_fluff Kinda made do. Didn't have any of the usual suspects like bell peppers or bok choi.

So in the time it takes to boil egg noodles I discovered one can mix peanut butter, soy sauce, ponzu, lemon, sesame oil, sriratcha, chopped scallion, and minced garlic. So instead of butter and pepper I had a passable thai noodle dish for breakfast.

Top with cilantro or rocket for the extra fancy pinky-out experience.

One of the most dangerous tools I've ever owned.

Resisted, then gave up and transformed into my dad.

A roll of quarters, a glass of beer, a pool table, and thou.

My job is irritating but occasionally cool. Like today where I get to watch a mission control feed of a rocket launch while working. :blobcat:

#NMTrue

Me: [Gets tattoo of accurately sized ruler on forearm]

Everyone: "Hur hur! How many dicks you measuring with that huh? Huh??"

Later, Everyone: "I dropped my tape measure, do you have one? Or a yardstick or something?"

Me: "GOLLY GEE IF ONLY THERE WAS A WAY TO ALWAYS HAVE A MEASUREMENT TOOL ON YOUR PERSON TISK TISK WELL GOOD LUCK WITH THAT FELLAS!"

Me: [Exit stage left]

[SINGS OFF KEY]

I'm uh, ART-A-CHOE! (Checkit an see!)

I'm not a brassica that smells like pee!